So this happened on the Cross Sound Ferry-
I bought a coffee at the concession stand on the ferry and on my way back to the table, I passed the men’s room and went in.
There was a man washing his hands like Lady Macbeth- soap all over the place.
I had to put my coffee on the sink, so I wiped down the puddles he made.
“I just need to put this here.” I said. I placed the cup down and he did that “reflecto-speak” thing where you converse using the mirror.
“You kidding?” He said to me via the mirror.
“What?”
“You bring coffee into the bathroom?”
“Yeah. I’m on my way back to my table. I just need to find a dry spot to put it after super storm Sandy here…” I gestured to the flooded sink area he created.
“That’s just gross,” he grumbled, still doing reflecto-speak.
“It’s not like I’m licking it off the floor…“ I said.
I walked to a urinal and he continued washing.
“What are you, prepping for surgery or something?” I asked.
“I don’t like being gross, problem with that?” He glanced at my cup as if he was submitting it for evidence that I don’t have a problem being gross.
“Nope.”
He left and soon after, I did.
He sat a row over to my left and periodically looked at me.
Here’s where it got weird.
After I left the bathroom with my coffee, I went back to the snack bar and got this hummus/pretzel pack.
The problem with these is the hummus reservoir has a fixed amount but the pretzel count can be random. You need to estimate perfectly how much hummus to put on each pretzel so they are both depleted simultaneously. One wrong hummus payload and you’ll have a deficit.
I screwed up. I had extra hummus leftover.
I thought of running my finger in it to get the last bit I didn’t have a napkin.
The only option was to stick my tongue in and get it.
I took a breath, raised the pack to my face. Just as I felt the cool creaminess on my extended tongue, our eyes met.
He slowly shook his head.
I could swear he mouthed “just gross.”
I could be wrong.
Probably not.