You know when you’re driving and suddenly find yourself looking at the driver of the car next to you? It’s a weird phenomenon no car owner escapes.
Something in the universe turns both your heads at each other momentarily for no reason.
So this happened:
I was driving in uneventful traffic, no car horns, no cutting off, when a car rolled into my peripheral view. I turned my head to the right and she, the driver next to me, turned her head to the left.
I guess that glance lasted a millisecond too long because she snapped her head back to straight like she got caught looking at another student’s test paper.
Whatever.
I usually drive with air conditioning instead of open windows. With my hair, an open window is like God getting all his hostility out on my head. When I park, I get out looking like that Flock of Seagulls guy.
But the day was warm and windless so I figured I’d lower the windows at the upcoming intersection.
I rolled to a stop and pressed the down buttons just as she appeared next to me.
She opened her window too. “Yeah?” She smiled.
“What?” I lowered my music.
“What do you want?”
“Nothing. Why?”
“You lowered your window.”
“…and?”
“And that means you want to talk.”
“Lady, it’s a Chevy, not a confessional.”
She lowered her music. “Hey, you looked at me before. I know what you’re doing. You can forget it.”
“What?! That was an ‘auto glance.’ Happens all the time. Means nothing. Believe me.”
“OK. Right.” She sputtered and shook her head in disgust. “Unbelievable. All the same.”
The light turned green.
We both continued side by side like the slowest race ever.
A school bus in front of us turned across lanes stopping traffic. When it was gone we were both at another red light.
I felt her stare so intently that the right side of my head was getting warm.
I raised and lowered the passenger window repeatedly.
“You’re an ass.” She said loudly enough for the car behind her to hear.
That didn’t take long, I thought. “I’ve been told.”
“I’m sure you have… effin’ creep.”
“OK, listen. I wasn’t looking…”
“I have a boyfriend!” She barked.
“Really? Is he deaf?”
“I’ll run your plates and send him to your house,” she threatened then pulled away.
“Tell him to bring dip!” I called out.
I know she heard me.
Her window was down.