It’s Shazam

Last Christmas I was shopping with Nancy for furniture. I could tell she was ignoring me while I complained that holiday music is inescapable, it’s all over the radio and TV- everywhere you go.
I watched her look at me in a mirror of a display bedroom set and shake her head. I know it’s bad when not only do I get under her skin, but my reflection does too.
I told her that I was going to head to the bathroom.
She looked thankful.

In the men’s room washing my hands I heard a cool, boogie version of a Christmas carol on the store’s speakers in there. I listened to it and thought it was a nice alternative to the same 20 songs you hear on a loop throughout the season. It dawned on me that I could use the ‘Shazam’ app on my phone, get the details of it and purchase it.

So there I stood in the middle of the men’s room with my phone outstretched.

With the sound of a flush a stall door swung open.
A man walked out toward the sink and stopped short when he saw me.

“You’re recording me?!”

“What? No, no. It’s Shazam.”

“Dude, you Shazam-ed me?!?!! What the fuck title did you think would come up?!”

“No, no, no..”

“What are you some kind of freak?!”

“No, I liked that song the store was playing…”

“…so you came into the men’s room to listen to it? Wow…”
He walked out staring at me over his shoulder the whole way as if he was afraid to take his eyes off me.

Later, he spotted me near the dining room sets, and nudged the woman he was with. He took out his phone and tapped it illustrating what happened and they both looked at me. She made a face that looked like she discovered the milk went bad.

“Did you see that?” Nancy asked, watching them.

“Yeah, Nance. Don’t worry about it.”

“Does that guy know you?”

“Kinda.”

She stopped walking. “Let me guess: something happened.”

“Forget it.”

“Oh God. The men’s room. You’re out of my sight for 2 minutes…”

“Nance, forget it!”

I never got the title of the song