I parked here (see photo above) and got out of my car.
As I was taking a reusable bag out of my trunk, a woman took the spot next to me and got out of her car.
She said with a laugh in her voice, “I don’t want to say anything but that spot is only for fuel-efficient vehicles.”
“My car IS fuel-efficient.”
“Is it?” She stretched that question out with that tone your mother used when she knew you were lying but offered you one more chance to ‘fess up. ”It looks kind of big to be fuel-efficient.”
I closed my trunk. “It uses every bit of gasoline I put in it,” I explained, “that, to me, is efficiency, as opposed to, you know, burning some gas and then squirting some out the side of the car or something. That would be wasteful.”
She didn’t say anything but her eyes blinked a few times.
I asked her if her car was fuel-efficient.
“Mine? It’s a hybrid,” she gestured like it was a prize on The Price is Right.
“A hybrid?” I asked, “you know, so is a seedless watermelon but I don’t see any of those parked around here.”
“A what?” (More blinking.)
“Seedless watermelons are hybrids…and they’re sterile, but that’s personal. We shouldn’t talk about that.”
“Who’s talking about watermelons? My CAR is a hybrid, electric and gas,” she clarified.
“Seedless watermelons don’t use any gas at all.” I looked around. ”I wonder why they’re not in these spots.”
“What are you talking about?” She asked incredulously.
“Watermelons…and parking rules.”
She drew a deep breath, “Look, I don’t want to say anything, but…”
I interrupted, “That’s the second time you said that you don’t want to say anything but you keep saying things. Did you notice that? Are there any other things that you don’t want to do but still feel you must do?”
That got a long stare- and zero blinking.
I chirped my alarm and walked toward the store.
“Watermelons…jerk.” She mumbled to herself as she closed her door.
“Seedless. Just the seedless ones, ma’am”
